Waiter's Nightmare

I'll have the steak. No, burger—I lied.
And, uh, with the burger, what comes as a side?

I think I'll do taters, or wait—make it fries.
But steak looks so good...oh, I can't decide!

Forecast

Umbrella brought, a jacket packed—
The rain: nowhere in sight.

Umbrella sought, a jacket lacked—
The rain: no end in sight.

Lies

Oh, the woe—the agony—
A lie will put you through!
My friends will not stop asking me
For things I cannot do.

I lied: I make good mac and cheese
(Like this I'd have to prove),
So now they want the recipe
To see what they should use.

I lied: I bought an SUV
With tons o' cargo room,
So now they wonder when I'm free
To come and help them move.

I lied: I got a med degree
and now I'm really screwed!
My friend's in need of surgery
and saying no'd be rude.

Ode to Roadside Weeds

"A plant's a weed when in the way"
Our wicked world will often say.
You're plucked and pulled and pushed away.
Ode to roadside weeds.

But to grow at asphalt's edge—
A miracle, you humble hedge!
This poem to you's my pers'nal pledge.
Ode to roadside weeds.

I'll sound the bell. I'll heed the call
To tell the world we've dropped the ball;
We've passed the fact you've grown at all.
Ode to roadside weeds. 

Dave

I saw the guy again today
Who thinks my name is Dave.

I've tried to say my name is Ray,
But now I simply wave.

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